


Captain Pike's Cadets Support Group

by memorywolf



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Humor, M/M, alternate title of the gc is 'we love pike's dick', boyce comes in at chapter 4, pike is obvsly an instructor, spock's an instructor, the rest are cadets, theres sex talk but no explicit sex since its messaging style lol, they basically just talk about sex and each other idk what to say, they just report on it alot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:56:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29897328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memorywolf/pseuds/memorywolf
Summary: A few cadets (and one instructor) under Pike are more invested in him than other regular cadets so it's only logical they form a group chat.Kirk:I stand corrected, I don’t think I can feel my assMcCoy:oh it’ll be fun BonesMY ASS!McCoy:Literally.McCoy:Pike’s got a monster in his pants and he knows damn well how to use it.Spock:I have warned you against such endeavours.Sulu:That’s Spock speak for ‘I told you so’
Relationships: Christopher Pike/Hikaru Sulu, Christopher Pike/Spock, James T. Kirk/Christopher Pike, Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Christopher Pike, Philip Boyce/Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Christopher Pike, maybe more to be added - Relationship
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love christopher pike and all his pairings, i am unable to write a serious fic rn, therefore the only logical conclusion is to write a crackfic with all the christopher pike pairings i can fit in :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically all the youngsters who are getting fucked by pike make a gc

**< Captain Pike's Cadets Support Group>**

_\- New Message 13:15 -_

**Sulu:** heads up, captain’s in a bad mood today

 **Sulu:** some stupid idiot in flight class ◔_◔

 **Kirk:** let’s be honest, angry pike is hot

 **Sulu:** only you kirk, only you

 **Spock:** I fail to see how a negative mood would support a sexual endeavour.

 **McCoy:** Jim’s in love with the man, everything he does is hot to him

 **Kirk:** I will neither confirm nor deny these accusations

 **Kirk:** but hey, you wanna team up on him, bones?

 **Kirk:** It’ll be fun, I promise!

 **McCoy:** That was what you said when you showed him that new dragon toy. I couldn’t sit properly for days. Days, Jim.

 **Kirk:** oh cmon bones! There’ll be two of us and one of him, how much damage could his dick possibly do?

 **McCoy:** Alright fine, but if he throws us out on our asses I’m blaming you

 **Sulu:** um

 **Sulu:** I don’t think it’s a good idea to go provoking captain pike’s infamous rage

 **Spock:** Cadet Sulu is correct. It is not wise to bother the Captain while he is otherwise occupied.

 **Kirk:** It’ll be fine guys

 **Kirk:** I got an appt with him at 1700 so I’m not barging in on anything important!

 **Sulu:** well, it’s your asses on the line ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌

 **Kirk:** and such beautiful asses they are ☆～（ゝ。∂）

_\- New Message 20:32 –_

**Kirk:** I stand corrected, I don’t think I can feel my ass

 **McCoy:** _oh it’ll be fun Bones_ MY ASS!

 **McCoy:** Literally.

 **McCoy:** Pike’s got a monster in his pants and he knows damn well how to use it

 **Spock:** I have warned you against such endeavours.

 **Sulu:** that’s Spock speak for ‘I told you so’

 **Kirk:** okay I mean it’s more than I expected

 **Kirk:** but it was still hot tho

 **McCoy:** ...

 **McCoy:** I have to agree with the kid on that, it really was hot

 **Kirk:** Yeah Bones! That’s the spirit!

 **Kirk:** oh he’s back from his shower, we’re gonna cuddle for a bit before dinner, bye!

 **Sulu:** … I feel kind of curious…

 **Spock:** I would not recommend following in their course of action, unless you have a partner to attend with.

 **Sulu:** …

 **Sulu:** Hey Spock

 **Spock:** No.

 **Sulu:** Oh jeez alright (｡•́︿•̀｡)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i used to write chat fics with apps and make them all fancy and it always took ten years so i am not doing that again lmao also i contemplated changing their chat names but i always got confused when reading those so i decided not to, imagine they're using official comms for this gc and it becomes even funnier
> 
> no particular update schedule, when i can think of shenanigans for them then i'll update, you're welcome to suggest things they can get up to too!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk inadvertently causes Sulu grief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm having a lot of fun with this so here's another one. also absolutely love that theres so little words and next to no need for me to proofread before i post lol

**< Captain Pike's Cadets Support Group>**

_\- New Message 08:15 -_

**Sulu:** James Tiberius Kirk

 **Sulu:** this is all you fault

 **Kirk:** It wasn’t me!

 **McCoy:** Kid don’t you think you’re defending yourself a little too early there?

 **Spock:** Self-defence before the fault has even been named implies guilt at said fault.

 **Sulu:** the fault is that I went to Captain Pike’s office expecting a good morning pounding but all I got was a vibe up my ass and a ‘be good and I’ll fuck you later’???

 **Sulu:** you’re the only one hare-brained enough to put this idea in his head

 **Sulu:** what I don’t understand is why is he doing this to me and not you???

 **Kirk:** yea wtf??

 **Kirk:** why you and not me???

 **McCoy:** …..

 **McCoy:** What I think the both of you are missing is that Hikaru has a vibe up his ass right this instant?!

 **Spock:** Per my memory, Cadet Sulu is attending Captain Pike’s diplomacy lecture at the present moment.

 **Sulu:** yes and yes

 **Sulu:** and also pike has the remote :)

 **Kirk:** I’m so jealous right now words cannot describe how much

 **Sulu:** FUCK YOU!!!

 **Sulu:** DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE WITH PEOPLE ALL AROUND ME??

 **Sulu:** PAVEL IS RIGHT BESIDE ME AND HES A MINOR!

 **Sulu:** THIS IS A SIN KIRK!!

 **Kirk:** hey don’t look at me

 **Kirk:** I gave it to him telling him to use it on me and he said, I quote, I was ‘too easy’ and ‘not a challenge’???

 **Kirk:** who do you think should be more insulted here??

 **Spock:** … I refuse to participate in this conversation, farewell.

 **McCoy:** I agree but I’m also here for the drama

 **Sulu:** fuck

 **Kirk:** did he turn it on????

 **Sulu:** fuck him and fuck you

 **Kirk:** I’m getting second hand arousal here

 **Kirk:** this is so hot

 **Kirk:** tell me more Hikaru!!

 **Sulu:** he smirked at me!!!

 **Sulu:** see if I let him fuck my ass after this >:(

 **McCoy:** You’re gonna let him fuck your ass.

 **Sulu:** I’m gonna let him fuck my ass.

 **Sulu:** doesn’t mean I can’t be angry about it though >:(

 **Kirk:** Pike logic: you can’t be angry at him when you’re too busy moaning your brains out

 **Sulu:** ….

 **Sulu:** I hate how true that is

 **Sulu:** I’m so tempted to storm out of this class but I just know if I do that he’s going to turn it up the highest right as I’m leaving and let me die of mortification

 **Kirk:** that’s sadistic of him… which is also really hot

 **Sulu:** why am I talking to you Kirk

 **Sulu:** this is all your fault in the first place

 **Kirk:** hey you could probably ask him to fuck you over his lecture desk

 **Kirk:** wait til everyone leaves and get all moany and squirmy on him

 **Kirk:** bat your eyelashes and beg him, I guarantee, your fantasy come true

 **Kirk:** he's a sucker for pretty boys begging for his cock

 **Sulu:** …. You have a devious brain Kirk, and I like it

 **Sulu:** solid plan.

 **Sulu:** I’ll even let him plug me up after ;)

 **Kirk:** fuck can I be there please

 **Sulu:** No because this is still your fault in the first place

 **Sulu:** now I’m going to try and fail to focus on the class, bye

 **Kirk:** nooooo!!! Let me watch :((((((

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i tell you the idea of the group name was from when my friend named our project group for criminal psych class 'killers support group'? honestly it was such a genius naming we kept it until we graduated


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock mewls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm having a lot of fun with this haha literally every smut situation i've ever wanted to put them in but i can't write smut and so thus have not written about, i'm writing them all here :D

**< Captain Pike’s Cadets Support Group>**

_\- New Message 15:31 -_

**Kirk:** holy shit

 **Kirk:** I went to look for pike

 **Kirk:** in his office

 **Kirk:** and I heard moaning

 **Kirk:** and I knew for sure it wasn’t bones bc I left him in the library

 **Kirk:** and I passed hikaru on the way here

 **Kirk:** and I thought no way spock would let pike rail him in his office

 **Kirk:** he’s so prim and proper that’s not possible

 **Sulu:** but you were wrong

 **Kirk:** BUT I WAS WRONG

 **Kirk:** spock can I just say you’re very pretty when you’re riding the captain

 **Kirk:** and wow Vulcan dick is….

 **Kirk:** amazing

 **Kirk:** you wanna hook up sometime?

 **McCoy:** Jesus kid

 **Kirk:** what

 **Kirk:** I’m all for learning about other species yknow bones

 **Sulu:** I’m very amused just imagining what spock is gonna say once he sees all these messages

 **Sulu:** and find out you’ve been peeping on him and the captain

 **Kirk:** he mewls like a cat too

 **Kirk:** it’s very adorable

 **McCoy:** I’ll get ready for your funeral Jim

 **McCoy:** Would you prefer cremation or burial

 **Kirk:** we’ve talked about this

 **Kirk:** cremation and scatter me out in space

 **Sulu:** wait are you _still_ outside his office??

 **Kirk:** well yeah

 **Kirk:** I was so shocked I needed to tell yall right away

 **Kirk:** and now that I have idk what to do

 **Sulu:** get the hell out of there???

 **Sulu:** pike’s gonna kill you if he finds you outside peeping on them

 **McCoy** : If Spock doesn’t get to him first

 **Kirk:** jeez alright I’m leaving

 **Kirk:** spoilsports

 **Sulu:** we are literally trying to save your life here but okay

_\- New Message 16:01 –_

**Spock:** I do not condone the act of eavesdropping on the Captain and myself, Cadet Kirk.

 **Spock:** But I will forgive you just this once.

 **Kirk:** … and?

 **Spock:**?

 **Kirk:** don’t just ignore my proposition

 **Kirk:** I’d really like to take a ride on your cock

 **Spock:** ….

 **Spock:** I shall elect to ignore your proposition considering we both share Captain Pike’s favour, but I will inform you that I personally do not prefer to fraternise with cadets.

 **Kirk:** that means you’ll let me once I graduate?

 **Spock:** ….

 **Kirk:** that’s not a no!

 **Spock:** Perhaps.

 **Kirk:** ヘ(^0^)ヘ

 **Sulu:** everyday I become more amazed at your ability to get others into your bed kirk

 **Kirk:** why?

 **Kirk:** you want a turn too?

 **Kirk:** （ゝ。∂）

 **Sulu:** ….

 **Sulu:** perhaps

 **McCoy:** ….

 **McCoy:** I am speechless

 **Kirk:** yea?

 **Kirk:** you weren’t speechless this morning when I was fucking you well and good into the mattress

 **Sulu:** ….

_Sulu changed the group name to <Kirk’s bitches Support Group>_

**Kirk:** HAHAHAHA

 **Spock:** I must disagree, Cadet Sulu, you and I have yet to bed Cadet Kirk.

 **McCoy:** and if you really want it to be a chat of Jim’s lays you’d need to add a couple of hundred other sentient beings in

 **Sulu:** fair enough

_Sulu changed the group name to <Captain Pike’s bitches Support Group>_

**Spock:** I must disapprove of being referred to as such.

 **Sulu:** yea but you’re not a cadet so we can’t keep it as cadet

 **McCoy:** How about lovers?

 **Kirk:** ew bones wtf

 **Kirk:** that’s so old fashioned

 **McCoy:** Well what would you suggest genius?

 **Kirk:** hm…

 **Kirk:** how bout groupies?

 **Sulu:** I still like bitches better

 **Sulu:** let’s be real, has any of us ever topped pike?

 **Kirk:** …

 **Spock:** …

 **McCoy:** …

 **Sulu:** see?

 **Spock:** I still must disagree to such a vulgar naming.

 **Sulu:** oh alright fine

_Sulu changed the group name to <Captain Pike’s Cadets Support Group>_

**Sulu:** inevitably when we all graduate we’re going to have to change the name

 **Kirk:** we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it

 **McCoy:** At least this way if anyone accidentally sees our comms notifications they won’t misunderstand

 **McCoy:** Well, they’ll misunderstand but in a good way

 **Kirk:** yea I get it

 **Kirk:** doesn’t mean it isn’t boring tho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it even humour anymore if its just an excuse for me to write them in increasingly dirty situations without having to write out explicit sex :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doctor Boyce is here to stir up some trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made boyce very... whats the word... idk kinky? bc thats hot HAHAHA idk he strikes me as the type

**< Cadet McCoy – Doctor Boyce>**

_\- New Message 11:13 –_

**Boyce:** So Len, I saw some very interesting notifications on your comm when you were dead asleep this morning.

 **McCoy:** Oh god

 **Boyce:** I chose not to mention it in front of Chris seeing as the group was called, correct me if I’m wrong

 **Boyce:** Captain Pike’s Cadets Support Group

 **McCoy:** I would like to pass away right this instant

 **Boyce:** I couldn’t see the messages but there were all of Chris’ boys huh?

 **McCoy:** Is there any possible way you could forget you ever saw anything?

 **McCoy:** I’ll blow you under your desk later

 **Boyce:** You’ll do that anyways.

 **McCoy:** Fuck

 **McCoy:** you right

 **Boyce:** There is no way to convince me love, just accept that I’ve seen it.

 **McCoy:** Alright, so I’ve accepted, what then?

 **Boyce:** Add me in.

 **McCoy:** …..

 **McCoy:** What?

 **McCoy:** Why?

 **Boyce:** Seems like a fun group with the way it was going off last night and this morning.

 **McCoy:** What if I say no

 **Boyce:** Then you won’t be seeing my cock again anytime soon.

 **McCoy:** （｀Δ´）！

 **McCoy:** That’s evil

 **McCoy:** You can’t do that

 **Boyce:** Yes I can.

 **McCoy:** …

 **McCoy:** It’s literally just a group of horny cadets talking about Captain Pike’s dick

 **Boyce:** Perfect then, I happen to have frequent acquaintance with Chris’ dick ˙ ͜ʟ˙

 **McCoy:** ＿|￣|○

 **Boyce:** ♡

 **McCoy:** I’ll ask them, but if they say no then I’m not adding you in

 **McCoy:** This is their privacy too

 **Boyce:** Understandable.

**< Captain Pike’s Cadets Support Group>**

_\- New Message 11:20 –_

**McCoy:** So…

 **McCoy:** This is partly all of yall’s fault

 **McCoy:** Noisy af in the middle of the night and early in the morning

 **McCoy:** I was with Pike and Boyce last night and this morning

 **McCoy:** And apparently Boyce is a nosy motherfucker (don’t tell him I said that)

 **McCoy:** He took a look at my comm and saw the gc and now he wants to join

 **McCoy:** Fuck if I know why

 **Kirk:** bones you sly dog

 **Kirk:** since when were you boning your superior?

 **McCoy:** Which one? Pike or Boyce?

 **Kirk:** wow no need to rub it in that you get more sexy silver fox dick than the rest of us poor souls

 **Sulu:** the both of you can’t see it but Spock just sighed

 **Sulu:** honest to god sighed!!!

 **Spock:** I merely expressed thus as I am well acquainted with Doctor Boyce, and am familiar with the ways the doctor likes to… tease Captain Pike.

 **Kirk:** wait why are the both of you tgt

 **Kirk:** is there something we should know ;)

 **Spock:** Cadet Sulu and I are merely discussing his botany extracurricular research, please refrain from mindless assumptions.

 **Sulu:** yea jim some of us have self restraint

 **Kirk:** bones theyre ganging up on me :(

 **McCoy:** Can we please get back on the topic of Boyce

 **Kirk:** alright

 **Kirk:** so you’re saying he wants to join this gc bc he wants dirt on him

 **Sulu:** and to talk about him behind his back with the rest of pike’s bitches

 **Spock:** …

 **Spock:** I would not put it as bluntly but essentially, yes.

 **Kirk:** well I’m never one to say no to a silver fox like that!

 **Sulu:** I suppose I don’t mind it, I’ve never actually met him before

 **McCoy:** and you Spock?

 **Spock:** I find no reason to deny him.

_Boyce has been added to the chat_

**Boyce:** Hello boys.

 **Kirk:** hey doc!

 **Spock:** Doctor Boyce.

 **Sulu:** nice to meet you, sir.

 **McCoy:** Well I have no idea why you’d want to be here but welcome to the pack of wild horny dogs

 **Spock:** I detest this inclusion.

 **McCoy:** Pack of wild horny dogs + Spock

 **Spock:** Thank you.

 **Boyce:** I’m just here to see what Chris gets up to with his boys.

 **Boyce:** He never wants to tell me anything, except when we’re sharing Len, but even then it’s only to make Len flush that adorable shade of red all up to his ears.

 **McCoy:** hey! I did not sign up to be exposed like this

 **Kirk:** but you really are adorable when you get like that bones

 **McCoy:** Shut up or I’m leaving

 **Kirk:** I can’t imagine how much cuter you can get being topped by two of them bones

_McCoy has left the chat_

**Kirk:** wow dramatic much

 **Sulu:** he really left HAHAHAH

_McCoy has been added to the chat_

**Kirk:** don’t be such a drama queen bones

 **McCoy:** You’re all on thin fucking ice

 **Spock:** I do not see why I am included amongst them when I have not made any remarks upon your person, doctor.

 **McCoy:** Except Spock, everyone else is on thin fucking ice

 **Boyce:** Why so grumpy, Len?

 **Boyce:** Didn’t we fuck you good enough this morning?

 **Boyce:** Was two cocks in your ass not enough?

 **McCoy:** …

_McCoy has left the chat_

**Sulu:** we talk shit on the regular but why is that somehow hotter than everything we’ve ever talked about on here

_McCoy has been added to the chat_

**Boyce:** Probably because it’s me. I’ve yet to make your acquaintance, cadet.

 **Sulu:** oh yes, hello sir, I’m Hikaru Sulu.

 **Boyce:** Ah yes, from command track. Tell me, how well do you take cock?

_McCoy has left the chat_

**Sulu:** asdkljdsklf

 **Sulu:** uh I mean

 **Sulu:** well enough??

 **Boyce:** Would you like to show me?

 **Sulu:** yes! I mean, yes sir, definitely?? Sir.

 **Kirk:** bones is missing out on prime content right here

 **Kirk:** Hikaru getting his authority kink pulled out before he’s even met Boyce

 **Boyce:** I’ll go and get that errant cadet back, no worries.

**< Cadet McCoy – Doctor Boyce>**

**Boyce:** Len, come back.

 **McCoy:** Did I add you to the group just so you can expose me and arrange dalliances with Chris’ other cadets

 **Boyce:** No, those were just a bonus.

 **Boyce:** I’m just there to enjoy the gossip, promise.

 **McCoy:** … That’s still awfully suss of you

 **Boyce:** How about after your shift, after you’re done under my desk, I fuck you over it with just my fingers. If you’re loose enough I might even put my fist in, you like that don’t you?

 **McCoy:** How dare you use sex as a bargaining tool

 **Boyce:** Because I know how much you like my hands, and my hands inside you specifically.

 **McCoy:** Fuck you

 **McCoy:** ….

 **McCoy:** Get me back in the group （¬＿¬)

 **Boyce:** Sure thing love.

**< Captain Pike’s Cadets Support Group>**

_McCoy has been added to the chat_

**Kirk:** bones you just missed Hikaru almost creaming his pants over text

 **Boyce:** Oh he’ll be getting more than just texts so it’s fine.

 **McCoy:** And just like that I regret every action that has led me up to this point :)

 **Kirk:** but this means hikaru is gonna be getting more than me!!

 **Kirk:** I do not condone this!!!

 **Kirk:** doctor boyce would you like another? ;)

 **McCoy:** jesus christ this is not worth it I’m leaving

 **Boyce:** Come on Len, just think of how much fun we’ll be having later.

 **McCoy:** ….

 **McCoy:** I hate every single one of you

 **Kirk:** im very jealous right now

 **Boyce:** Sadly Jim, Chris is very protective of you, I’d no doubt get an earful if I snatched you up.

 **Kirk:** :((((((

 **Kirk:** pike is cockblocking me????

 **Sulu:** aw man, I was so close to changing this chat name to Boyce’s bitches support group :/

 **Spock:** … I maintain my dislike of that naming.

 **Kirk:** wait

 **Kirk:** so spock’s fucked boyce??

 **Kirk:** I am vibrating out of my skin in jealousy

 **Sulu:** HAHAHAH

 **Sulu:** never thought you’d see the day spock got more game than you huh jim?

 **Kirk:** ( ´༎ຶㅂ༎ຶ`)

 **Kirk:** im gonna find some admiral to fuck

 **Sulu:** JIM NO

 **McCoy:** JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK DO NOT

 **Spock:** I would strongly advice against it.

 **Kirk:** jim yes :)

 **Boyce:** I am highly amused.

 **Boyce:** I can’t wait to see what Chris is gonna say.

 **McCoy:** I swear to god almighty Jim if you do some stupid shit like this you can kiss those hangover hypos goodbye

 **Sulu:** jim I cant lose a fellow slut like this

 **Sulu:** don’t do it

 **Kirk:** admiral archer would support me in this

 **McCoy:** JIM

 **McCoy:** my blood pressure can’t handle this

 **Sulu:** jim I know we all got a thing for older men but archer is ancient

 **Kirk:** ✌（◕ω◕）✌ 

**McCoy:** Phil say something, you can’t possibly condone this

 **Boyce:** I mean…

 **McCoy:** PHIL

 **Boyce:** Oh alright. Jim don’t do it.

 **Kirk:** (๑◕︵◕๑)

 **McCoy:** Thank fuck

 **Boyce:** Instead, you should go to Chris and tell him that you were thinking of doing it.

 **McCoy:** PHIL BOYCE

 **Boyce:** He’ll get so jealous, best fuck of your life. Settled.

 **Kirk:** omg you’re a genius doc!

 **Boyce:** Yes.

 **McCoy:** I am…

 **McCoy:** fuck whatever fine as long as jim doesn’t fuck into admiralty and get us all expelled whatever

 **Boyce:** Knew you’d see it my way, Len. :)

 **Sulu:** I suddenly very much would like to visit your office, Doctor Boyce.

 **Boyce:** I’ll send you the details.

 **Boyce:** Oh and you can call me sir.

 **Sulu:** Yes, Sir.

 **McCoy:** I’m going to turn off my comm for the foreseeable future.

 **Kirk:** … can I at least watch?

 **Kirk:** … please?

 **Kirk:** …..

 **Kirk:** guys??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> same Len i too would like to pass away right this instant :) 
> 
> aight thats the end of my ideas, pls give me some ideas thanks. imma start a kirk/boyce + mcpike chatfic bc im hooked on chat fics rn bc of how simple they are lmao and im stressed out of my mind so i need easy things. i just need happy stuff so i can stop thinking abt not existing in this world hahahaah


End file.
